I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize