I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
