I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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