its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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