Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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