He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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