How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
