sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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