I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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