so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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