I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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