I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
