you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
