Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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