Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
