Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
