For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
