apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
