Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
