And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
