i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
