Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
