my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
