Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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