the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
