I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
