She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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