I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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