You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
