We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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