Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
