I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
how drunk are you?
Several
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
