Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize