You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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