well you can't waste a boner
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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