i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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