i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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