The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
