I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
