SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
