So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i barfeds in our rink
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
