somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
