When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
