My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
