Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
