I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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