I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
