guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize