Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
pray to the hookup gods
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
