Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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