Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
