she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
